Animals jokes

  • Rooster Plays B-ball
    Why did the rooster cross the basketball court? It heard that the referee was blowing fouls.
  • One Chicken, One Road, Many Reasons
    Why did the chicken cross the road? KINDERGARTEN TEACHER:� To get to the other side. PLATO:� For the greater good of man. ARISTOTLE:� It is the nature of chickens to cross roads. …
  • Pillar Of The Community
    What kind of pillar can't hold up a building? A caterpillar!
  • Dog Crossing
    Why did the dog cross the road? He saw some dog food.
  • Bull
    What is another name for a masturbating bull? Beef Strokinoff.
  • Dino-Rific!
    What do you call a blind dinosaur? Do-you-think-he-saur-us.
  • Green and Jumpy
    What is green and jumps from bed to bed? A prostitoad.
  • Animal Wackiness
    What's the easiest way to put a giraffe in a fridge? By opening the door and putting it in.
  • The Lyin' King
    What's the difference between Simba and O.J. Simpson? One's an African lion, and the other's a lion African.
  • Goose & Lawyer
    Q: What can a goose do, that a duck can't do and a lawyer should do? A: Stick his bill up his ass.
  • Cow Reflexes
    What do you call a cow with a twitch? Beef Jerky!
  • Fly vs. Mosquito
    What is the difference between a mosquito and a fly? A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
  • Horny Toad
    What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad? One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit."
  • Doggone It
    What did the dog say when it sat on sandpaper? Ruff!
  • Fish says, "Duuuuude!"
    What does a fish use to get high? Seaweed!
  • Carrots
    How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
  • Something Men Can't Get...
    Why can't men get Mad Cow Disease? Because they are all PIGS!
  • Ford HippoVan
    How do you get a hippopotamus in a mini-van? Kick one of the elephants out.
  • Bug's Mind
    What is the last thing to go through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield? It's ass.
  • Pig-ipede
    What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and legs!
  • Holy Moley
    How Does a dummy kill a mole? He buries it.
  • Bird vs. Fly
    What's the difference between a bird and a fly? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird.
  • Bear and Deer
    What do you get when you cross a bear with a deer? Beer
  • Shepherd To Shepherd
    What did the one shepherd say to the other shepherd? Let's get the flock out of here!
  • Circumcisional Evidence
    How do you circumcisce a whale? With four skin-divers...
  • Octopus
    Q: What do you call an Octopus with no legs? A: A puss.
  • Instant Cow Attraction!
    How do you get a hundred cows in a barn? You hang up a bingo sign!
  • You Can't Teach An Old Cat
    What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten? An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!
  • Love Stinks
    What happened to the blind skunk? He fell in love with a fart.
  • Chicken on the Football Field
    Why did the chicken run onto the football field? Because the umpire called a foul.
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