The funniest jokes on the net

Your IQ is so low, you have to dig for it!

When they made you, they broke the mold. Then, they found the moldmaker, dragged him out into the street, and shot him. Repeatedly.

You're as sharp as a marble.

What's the difference between men and batteries? Batteries have a positive side!

The bakery called -- they want their rolls back!

I'd slap you -- but shit splatters.

I GOT A JOKE FOR YOU. LOOK IN THE MIRROR!! HA HA HA!!!

I've seen better looking butts in an ash tray

Yo' mama so stank, even the couch gets up when she sits down!

Why do men float better than women? Because they're scum.

You might be a yankee if you call binoculars opera glasses!

Your chest is so flat, the walls are getting jealous.

"Hey, how's your face feeling?" "Fine. Why?" "Because it's killing me!"

You're so stupid you thought Puff Daddy was a brand of cigarettes.

You so stupid, you tried to tape glue.

You know you're a redneck if the door mat to you're trailer home doubles as a mud flap to your pick up truck.

How do you fix a woman's watch? You don't — there's a clock on the oven!

What do you call a stupid flower? A blooming idiot.

How is a man like a snowstorm? You don't know when it's going to come, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll last.

''Add this up for me. A ton of sawdust, a ton of old newspaper, and a ton of fat. Now, have you got all that in your head?'' ''Yes.'' '' Yeah, I thought so.''

Your house is so dirty, I had to wipe my feet before I came outside.

Girl, you're so flat that when the painter came to do the house he said, ''This wall, too?''

Your cooking is so bad, the homeless give it back!

You're so stupid you had to call 411 to get the number for 911.

Are you really that bald or is your neck just blowing a bubble?

You're so small that when it rains you're the last to know!

You are so fat, you rented a 250-foot long limo, sat in the back and squished the poor driver.

I haven't seen you run that fast since Twinkies went on sale.

You're so fat, mountain climbers climb the Himalayas for practice before climbing you.

You're so poor the only time you go to the grocery store is for free samples.