Uncategorised jokes → The following are warnings were printed on various
The following are warnings were printed on various products from around the world:
On a child’s superman costume – WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists – REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On a Taiwanese shampoo – USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink – AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray – THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer – TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. (Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids – LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles – OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins – WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer – DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos – YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE.
On a bar of Dial soap – DIRECTIONS – USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP.
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box) – DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN.
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding – PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
On a Korean kitchen knife – WARNING KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights – FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
On a Japanese food processor – NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE
On Sainsbury’s peanuts – WARNING – CONTAINS NUTS.
On a blanket from Taiwan – NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts – INSTRUCTIONS – OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw – DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
