The funniest jokes on the net

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out England are good enough to win the Euro 200…

Fast forward to 2004, it is just before England v Brasil at the Millennium Stadium, an important European Championship qualifier game. Ronaldo goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his …

An English prisoner of war was held by the Germans. The Englishman was shot all over the place, and okay until one day when the German told him, “Englander,your arm is infected with gangrene ve…

A man was heading to England and his next-door neighbor Mrs. Dunn had just sent her son Olmos off to England a week ago. He hadn't called since he was there, so she asked the man to get him to call h…

Here are 15 fantastic Keegan quotes: (1) "England have the best fans in the world and Scotland's fans are second-to-none." (2) "It's like a toaster, the ref's shirt pocket - every time there's a…

16 year old Stephen Barton, a pupil at one of England's leading fee paying schools, returned from school for his Christmas holidays in what appeared to be some measure of discomfort. When quizzed by h…

During WWII a fighter pilot was shot down over Germany and he was captured by the Nazis. He was hurt pretty bad so he the German doctor amputated his arm. He had a request that they would drop his arm…

Pamela Anderson and the Queen of England die on the same day. As they are approaching the gates of heaven, God tells them that there is only ONE spot left. Knowing this, Pamela decides to seduce God…

But Doctor, You HAVE To! In Turkey, Mehmet Esirgen, 52, tried to cure his sexual impotence by having a penis transplant -- using a donkey as the donor. The wire service Agence France-Presse reported …

Three college students were in England and were told they had to go to a great old pub called "The Cock Inn". They went off in three different directions and planned to meet back at 3:00. Two of t…

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock.

What's the difference between greeting the Queen of England and greeting Bill Clinton? You only have to get down on one knee to greet the queen.

Q: Why did the Siamese twins move to England? A: So the other one could drive.

A Texan is bragging to a New Englander. �In Texas,� he drawls, �you can get on a train, ride all day long, and still be in Texas by nightfall.� �So what?� replies the Yankee, �We have slow t

Why wasn't Jesus born in Essex, England? Because they couldn't find three wise men and a virgin!

You Must Answer Two (2) or More Questions Correctly to Qualify. 1. What language is spoken in France? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architectu…

A blonde rings up an airline. She asks, "How long are your flights from America to England?" The woman on the other end of the phone says, "Just a minute..." The blonde says, "Thanks!" and hangs u

Three Texas plastic surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, "I'm the best plastic surgeon in Texas. A concert pianist lost 7 fingers in an a…

THE WIT AND WISDOM OF KEVIN KEEGAN "One of his strengths is not heading." "He can't speak Turkey, but you can tell he's delighted." "There'll be no siestas in Madrid tonight." "England can…

Travel Agent Stories The following are actual stories told by travel agents in the States (and you wonder why US citizens generally score less than the rest of the world on geography) A client c…